Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
