Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
