you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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