check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
