I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
