Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
