i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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