Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
