babies were throwing up all over the place
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize