Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
