i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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