it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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