My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
