Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
