I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Randomize
