I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize