that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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