She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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