i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
