what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
