When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
