I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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