that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My pussy is not your playground.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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