4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
