We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize