Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
