In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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