So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
