chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Panties = found
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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