just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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