yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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