I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize