He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
