I feel like abortions should bother me more
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
