I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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