ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
