from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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