Where did you get a picture of my penis
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
