every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
