well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
