You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
