My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
