dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im six kinds of drunk right now
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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