and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
