i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
