I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
