Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
