1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
