so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
