he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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