Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
