I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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