Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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