I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
