my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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