At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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