What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
