Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
