dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
