And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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