and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
