He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
