Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
