Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
