he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
