covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just tell him i said nine months
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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