I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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