I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
