marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
