Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
